


(Please Don't) Leave Me Alone

by romanee



Category: NoPixel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Bonding, Comfort, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:41:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23130361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanee/pseuds/romanee
Summary: Lips turned up now, he breathed in, then out while keeping his eyes closed for a good ten seconds before rolling onto his side and reaching down to the floor where he dropped his phone. Settling back in place, he scrolled down till he found the name he wanted. Finger hovering over the name, Bobby considered against it, but shook his nerves away and tapped on Dorian’s name.
Relationships: Bobby Smith & Zelda Harth, John Dorian & Bobby Smith, John Dorian/Bobby Smith, Zelda Harth & John Dorian
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	(Please Don't) Leave Me Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Friday the 13th!
> 
> I don't know how this got so out of hand, but here we are. Anyways, I did my best with what I could remember with certain things ;v; but I hope its an enjoyable read nonetheless!
> 
> Prompt: "What if I don't see it?"
> 
> This goes for all my NoPixel related fics: It should go without saying, but also please don't like, send it to streamers l m f a o, if people find stuff on their own idc, that's one thing, but when people are actually sending it to them? I'm-ya, no. Please don't do that. /\

Since becoming chief, Bobby hadn’t allowed himself to have any days off to himself; if it wasn’t one thing, it was another, if it wasn’t someone making a complaint, it was other officers making complaints about each other. He was at the point of feeling like even if he deserved rest for as little as five hours, he couldn’t, because someone always needed him. 

But with some coaxing from Zelda the night before when he got home, today would be a day for him, and him alone. 

_“You’ve felt like shit all month, if not longer. Just stay home and relax or hang out with an actual friend. Not some dumb fuckboys. If I find out you were doing any sort of police work at any point? I’ll stab you and make it look like that idiot AJ did it.”_

Bobby distinctly remembers chuckling and waving her off, but when she crossed her arms over her chest and _pouted_ , he quickly agreed to her terms. While a part of him hoped she’d never do such a thing, another part was proud, happy even, that she’d go so far for him. Another much smaller part wished he’d never allowed her to put two and two together on who he hooked up with, but regardless, he knew she would’ve found out one way or another, and not to mention, he kind of loved hearing her shit talk about people. He didn’t think she could dislike someone so much, but alas. 

Sprawling out on the couch, Bobby stretched his limbs until it was almost painful before going lax and letting himself sink into the soft cushions. Flipping on the TV to channel surf for the sake of it, Bobby found himself getting antsier by the minute. 

For as much as he wanted a day like this, it was somehow too much, too much knowing that if he happened to look at his phone and noticed he had a notification over the email icon, it might have bad news on it. Or worse, because what he’s learned since being a sergeant is it can always get worse one way or another. 

Sighing, he set the remote down on his stomach and pressed the heel of his hands over his eyes, mindful of his fucked-up eye. 

Before she left, Zelda had told him she’d be out with friends for most the day and into the night, but to text her if he wanted, and boy did that make him smile. 

_“Who’s the parent here? Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”_

_She looked up from her phone, eyebrow raised. “Who’s the one overworking themselves? Who’s the one who’s been making you snack filled lunches and dinner?”_

_“Touché.”_

Lips turned up now, he breathed in, then out while keeping his eyes closed for a good ten seconds before rolling onto his side and reaching down to the floor where he dropped his phone. Settling back in place, he scrolled down till he found the name he wanted. Finger hovering over the name, Bobby considered against it, but shook his nerves away and tapped on Dorian’s name. 

**Bobby:** You free? 

As he waited for a response back, he placed his phone on his chest, then he threw his up arms over his face, going back to focusing on breathing and counting. 

_I shouldn’t be bothering him; he’s probably got more important things going on._

_But_

_He did say I could come to him if I wanted,_ needed _someone_ _to talk_ _to_ _._

Bobby peaked between the space of his arms and stared at the ceiling. _So, it should be fine._

Still though, as much as he might’ve looked up to Dorian when he was undersheriff, he shouldn’t be bothering him with either of his chief or personal problems. 

_But he said--_

_“Don’t be too hard on yourself, alright. You’re already doing better than you think; you have a plan. I didn’t.” Dorian placed his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. “Most of us didn’t plan for things like we should’ve when we suddenly found ourselves in High Command. We took care of problems as they happened, which likely caused more problems, but you?” He shook his head, chuckling. “You’ve got a plan.”_

Feeling warmth blooming across his cheeks, Bobby hid his smile back behind his arms. He did always enjoy it when Dorian was around–since he was usually always very busy with HC things. 

He _was_ a good listener and didn’t make too much fun of him when he did something stupid, but rightfully told him off if what he did was severe enough. Thinking of it now, it has been a long time since Bobby last let himself think about Dorian. When he was a cadet, Dorion did make him feel like a dumb schoolboy again, but instead of crushing on an actual dirtbag, Dorian was a decent person towards him, and at the end of the day, Bobby couldn't ask for more. 

Stomach-churning, Bobby snatching his phone back up and went to the message he started, and at the same time, as he sent, _you know what, never mind_ _,_ a new message popped up. 

**Dorian:** I can be. 

While Bobby stared at it in something akin to horror, another two texts came in. 

**Dorian:** Everything okay, bud? I do mean It, I’m not doing anything important, so I can hang out if you want. 

**Dorian:** But only if you want. 

_Am I okay?_

_“Who’s the one overworking themselves?”_

_Ah, Zelda’s not wrong._

_Then stop pretending you’re fine and be honest for once in your life! You’ve started opening up more with Zelda for the better, now open up to another who’ll give a damn about you!_

Shaken by the voice, Bobby nodded slowly to himself. 

**Bobby:** I’m. I could be better. 

**Dorian:** Send me your address, I’ll start making my way there! 

With his heart pounding and blood rushing in his ears, Bobby quickly sent it off before he could think up some excuse to turn Dorian away. 

Earlier in the week Zelda, bless her, had all but forced him to do a load of laundry for both his clothes and bedsheet, and as he sifted through his clothes for a plain shirt he could throw his jacket over, he couldn’t be more grateful for her not putting up with his shit, and making him take care of himself in these small ways. 

Pulling it over his head, he tensed when he heard a knock at the door, but relaxed just as quickly when he heard Dorian’s voice. 

“It’s unlocked!” 

Listening as the door opened and closed, still in no rush, Bobby moved around until the shirt hugged him comfortably and did a few arm stretches to loosen up the material. 

Not hearing any footsteps coming closer or wandering around, he took that as he could continue as is; shuffling over towards the bathroom, Bobby grabbed his eye drops from the cabinet and carefully blinked his eyes open, holding it open while getting to work. 

As he finished up, he kept his eyes closed for a minute before blinking them a few times and wincing when it felt like tiny rocks were scrapping against his eyelid; head hung down towards the sink, he gritted his teeth. When he lifted his head back up to look at himself in the mirror, he stared at the one eye and sighed. 

It was still a pretty nasty red, but not as angry as before when Choi worked on it, and he promptly fucked it even more by putting Vaseline on it. Rubbing the skin just under his eye with his index finger, he pulled down gently. 

_Gross._

“Jeez, man, I figured it looked bad, but...” 

Jumping out of his skin, Bobby’s hand slapped against the sink, where both gripped the edge painfully tight and whipped his head around towards the door so quick, he could’ve sworn something cracked. 

Heart jumping to his throat, he pried his left hand off the counter and pointed it at Dorian, whose eyes had widened behind his glasses. 

_“Don’t_ -don’t do that again, holy fuck! Almost gave me a heart attack!” 

“Sorry, sorry! It’s just...” he reached out then suddenly stopped, as if realizing what he was about to do. While his hand hovered close to his cheek, it was the longest millisecond of Bobby’s life, before it fell back to his side. 

“Sorry, I.” He snapped his mouth shut, looked away then back. “Does it hurt?” 

_Of_ _course,_ _it does._

Turning back towards the mirror, watching Dorian from his peripherals, he nodded then looked back at his reflection. 

_What_ _would it have_ _felt like to have his hand on my face?_

_Nice probably._

“Hurts as much as you’d think it would after getting shrapnel in your eyes.” When the words left his mouth, he wanted to take them back. He didn’t mean for it to sound as cold as it did, but after being made the butt of a joke for it by so many others since the first operation, he was more than a little tired of hearing snide comments about his appearance. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve said anything...” 

He closed his eyes, turning around to lean his lower back against the counter, his arms almost hugging himself. “No, it's fine. I’m just-over people being dickheads about it.” He gave Dorian a small smile. “So, not your fault, just literally everyone else's. I don’t mean to take it out on you; you’re just asking since...” he looked up, frowning, “God, it’s been a while since we last talked, hasn’t it?” 

“Feels like it, yeah. We talked for a bit at the last academy you and Metzger set up, but you were understandably busy.” 

Bobby’s smile grew. 

“That’s right! It was good seeing you and Tribble together again tormenting cadets! But please, Metz organized most, if not all of it, I just helped spread the word and made sure people were doing what they were supposed to.” 

Their combined laughter mixed easily, and maybe, just maybe, Bobby wouldn’t find himself stressing out about things he may or may not be missing at work. 

Pushing away from the counter, Bobby grabbed his eyepatch, slipped it on, then reached out and patted Dorian’s arm, leading him away from the bathroom and back towards the front room. “Zelda and I went shopping the other day, so we could hang out here or go driving around for a bit.” 

“Your daughter, right?” 

“Yup!” 

“Well, whatever’s fine with me, like I said, I’m only here for however long you want me to be.” 

Ducking his head, he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“On second thought, I think I could use some fresh air, stay out of the city, y’know?” 

“Plenty we can do here in Sandy and Paleto.” 

Bobby grabbed his jacket and slipped his shoes on, now full-on grabbing Dorian’s arm, yanking him out the door and keeping him close as he locked his place up. 

“Great!” 

Dorian truly was the type of crush he would’ve had back in high school or college of the guy who could’ve been popular but didn’t see the point in why people were considered popular or not and enjoyed talking about things other than parties, drugs, and sex. At least, to Bobby, he came off that way. His judgment of men has always either been good or terrible, let alone his taste in them. 

It made Bobby think, _what if_ he’d met Dorian earlier than he did; if he would’ve allowed his little crush to evolve into something more than just that. A crush. 

_He’s the type of guy Papa would’ve liked, probably. Matilda definitely would’ve liked him._

Shoving that particular thought away, he instead focused on how antsy he was with Dorian to his left; he felt his hands getting sweatier by the minute from not knowing if the other man was looking at or glancing at him now and again. Wiping them off against his pants, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a little message to Zelda to distract himself. 

**Bobby:** I hope you're having fun with your friends! Just thought you'd like to know, I've left the house, apartment, whatever, and don't worry, it's nothing work-related. 

Expecting her to be too busy to text him back, Bobby was happy to see a message pop up seconds later, but when he saw what she said, he pouted. 

**Zelda:** Who are you with 

“What the fuck?” 

“Hm?” 

He turned his head enough till he could see Dorian’s face to see his eyes glancing down at his phone then back at the road. When he looked back down at his phone, he almost regretted texting her in the first place. 

**Zelda:** Please don’t say you're on a date. :/ 

“Nothing, just my daughter.” Bobby shook his head. “She’s asking who I'm with, implying that I can’t leave home without being with someone.” 

“I mean...” Adding emphasis on the word, he laughed, and it made Bobby blush. 

“Shush your mouth.” 

Beside him, Dorian continued to laugh. 

**Bobby:** No! I promised I wouldn’t do something stupid without telling you. 

**Zelda:** Where are you then? 

Oh no. 

_No._

**Bobby:** In a car. 

**Zelda:** Dad. I’m serious. 

Even with the seatbelt strap restricting his movement, he slumped down in the seat, phone close to falling out of his hand. 

“Are you _whining_?!” 

If before he was muffling his laughter, now he wasn’t even trying to hide it. 

“You _are!_ ” 

“Shut up!” 

As they sat in the café waiting for Zelda, Bobby held his hot chocolate close to his face, his eyes narrowed at Dorian, who was sipping on his cup like he hadn’t spent the last twenty or so minutes laughing at him for giving into his daughter. 

“It’s cute.” 

“Shut up...” 

It was, but it was equally embarrassing since this wasn’t just anyone he was with. It was Dorian, his old undersheriff, for crying out loud. Plus, he was ninety-eight percent sure he’d never met Zelda before. 

_Matilda, give me strength, holy shit._

Dorian held his hand, not holding his cup, up in surrender. 

“Sorry, boss.” 

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 

“Don’t, don’t call me that...” 

As they sat in the ambiance of the café, neither of them said a single word, and while Dorian looked content, Bobby wanted to fill the space with some sort of conversation. But as of late, talking about anything that wasn’t work-related was like grasping at straws to have. Sure, he could talk about Zelda, but he treasured their moments together too much to want to share them with anyone else. 

Bobby sighed, and held his cup against his cheek, letting it warm his for some reason, clammy skin while his other hand messed with the strap of his eyepatch. 

Across from him, a chair skidded across the wooden floor, and when Bobby zoned back in to ask Dorian if he was okay, his heart lodged itself in his throat. 

“You must be Zelda nice to meet you!” 

_Why?_

Glancing at his daughter, Bobby was taken aback to see her eyes widened a bit in surprise before she seemed to notice him staring and composed herself. 

_Why does this feel so..._ _?_

Zelda stared at the hand offered to her, as if contemplating if she really wanted to shake hands or not, but soon enough, she lifted her right hand and took Dorian’s hand, giving it a small shake before letting go. 

“You’re not Larry or AJ.” 

_Oh my God, Zelda?!_

Frozen to his seat, Bobby probably looked like an idiot with his mouth opening and closing as he looked between the two, but rather than be offended, Dorian laughed louder than before, to the point people were looking at them, but all Dorian did was readjust his glasses as he wiped his eyes and sat back down, motioning for her to pull up a chair. 

“No, I’m not, I’m John Dorian.” 

Zelda hummed as she grabbed a chair from a nearby table. “Nice to meet you...” Once she was settled next to him, she narrowed her eyes. 

“What are your intentions with my dad, John, and be honest. I’ll know if you’re lying or not.” 

Bobby was sure his heart stopped for a solid minute, and it was the longest suffocating minute of his life. More so than when Dorian almost cupped his face earlier. 

Standing abruptly, Bobby ignored their worried looks and excused himself to the bathroom. 

Watching her dad sprint away, Zelda pouted. She was doing this for him, after all, he should be grateful she didn’t tell Flippy or Siz or let them tag along even after they wouldn’t shut up about being left out. 

_I should tell them later, but I won't._

“I guess I embarrassed him.” 

The man, John Dorian, chuckled as he took a drink from his cup, shaking his head. 

“He’s jumpier than I remember, for sure, but that’s what the job will do to you.” 

She looked him over, frown still in place as she evaluated him. 

_Better than the other two, sure, but still... not good enough._

“You still haven’t answered my question. What are your intentions with my dad?” 

Under the table, she crossed her legs after crossing her arms, and Dorian followed suit but instead leaned against the table, chin resting on his palm while his smile went small. 

“Nothing bad like you’re probably thinking.” 

“How do I know that?” 

He shook his head, “You don’t... but I've known him since he was a cadet–” 

“So, you work together? Why have I never seen you around?” 

He chuckled, “You’ve got a lot of questions, little lady, and I’ll answer them, just give me a second, yeah?” 

_Fine._

“Go on then.” 

“As I was saying. I was undersheriff for a while, so I’ve known him cause of that, and I know that since he was a cadet, he’s been with your other dad, Raven. So, this divorce has gotta be hitting him hard.” 

_Finally, someone else sees it too and cares._

She nodded, letting her arms fall against the table. “He’s dumb but good at hiding things behind being dumb. I hate it.” 

“Right, well, I took some time off after stepping down, needed time away from everything, and low and behold, when I got back, Smith was no longer the silly cadet he used to be, but a Sergeant turned Chief.” He tilted his head to the side. “Had a bit of a heart to heart with him, told him if he needed someone to talk to, I’d be there. That’s it. No ulterior motives, I promise you that.” 

He looked her in the eyes, and she appreciated it. 

Closing her eyes, she nodded. 

_Okay._

“Okay, make sure he makes it home safe and sound, or I’ll gut you myself.” 

Whether or not he believed her very real threat didn’t matter to her, because as she stood, he gave her a salute followed by a quiet yes, ma’am. 

_Definitely better, but still not good enough._

After going through every possible worst-case scenario with whatever Dorian and Zelda were talking about– _obviously, it’s about you, idiot, she asked what his intentions are because she thinks you’re on a date_ –and keeping himself holed up in a bathroom stall for God knows how long, Bobby jumped when his phone started buzzing. 

“What? Hello?” 

When no one immediately said anything, he pulled his phone away from his ear and looked at the caller ID: Zelda. 

“Honey? Is everything okay?” 

“Have fun with your friend. Love you.” 

A broken sentence was about to tumble out of his mouth, but before he could form words, the line went dead, and Bobby was left staring at the blank wall of the stall door. 

Then, he noticed how badly his hands were shaking. 

_Get yourself together, man._

Situating himself, he freed himself from the stall and stumbled over towards the sinks, where he carefully pulled his eyepatch off, looping it around his arm, and splashed his face with water, slapping the sides of his face for extra measures to get a hold of himself. 

_One breath, two. Okay._

Sliding his eyepatch back on, he tried his best to keep himself from sprinting out of the café altogether, and thankfully somehow found himself back at the table, and Dorian, bless his patient soul, smiled up at him like he hadn’t just left him alone with his daughter who’d he’d just met. 

Rolling the inside of his cheek between his teeth, _again,_ Bobby felt his eye twitch with the shock of pain he wasn’t expecting. He really needed to cool it with that. 

“Sorry about all that.” _And me wasting more of your time._

“No worries, she’s a good kid, you’re lucky to have her. Anyways, want to get out of here? I know the deserts pretty right before a sunset” He glanced down at his watch, “we can drive around again until it gets late enough.” 

Smiling, Bobby eyed the chair Zelda had been sitting in. _I am lucky to have her._

“She’s... quite frankly my everything.” 

Busy staring off at nothing, Bobby forgot to say yes to more driving around, and more importantly, he missed the look Dorian gave him, all his features taking up a softer tone to them as he watched him. He was only caught up to speed when Dorian tugged on his arm, leading him out of the café and back to his car. 

Pulling up to a nice spot, Dorian turned the car off and stretched once he was out of the car, watching Bobby do the same from the corner of his eyes. Making his way around the car, he stood beside Bobby. “So, tell me, since we last talked about it, how do you like being Chief, besides all the meetings.” 

Watching him carefully, Dorian noted his hands clenched as he shoved them in his jacket pockets and shrugged. 

“Honestly? I’m surprised I haven't been kidnapped more. Got held at gunpoint... twice, I think. Once when Coop got taken hostage, and the other time happened not too long ago. No one noticed.” He went quiet for a second as if figuring out if he wanted to say more or not. "Only a cadet cared once I made my way back to PD and told them. Ain’t that some shit?” 

“Fucked up for sure.” He didn’t know if Bobby wanted any words of advice or not, so instead of giving it unasked, he waited patiently for when, if, he decided he wanted it. He didn’t want to push him too much. 

“It’s becoming so common, and-and I try to get it through people's heads its top priority above all else, but...” he shook his head as he fished out a cig, “you mind?” 

“Na, go ahead.” 

“Thanks-ah, but it’s fucking hard, man. Getting people to care, I mean, when everything is so, go, go, go, and don’t even get me started on comms. Fuck.” 

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’ll do my damnedest to make sure you stay safe till I get you home. Can’t be letting the Chief of Police getting snagged while he’s off duty on my watch.” 

Bobby leaned toward him, bumping their elbows together. 

“I appreciate it.” 

He shrugged. “It should be common sense to want to protect your fellow officers and deputies, but I suppose a lot changed since I stepped down.” He rolled his neck side to side, choosing his next words carefully. 

“I said it before, and I’ll say it again, but I think you’re doing and going to continue to do great as Chief.” He cupped his hands over his mouth, blowing against them to give them some heat as he started walking towards the back of his car to open the back, calling out over his shoulder. “You’re a good person, Bobby, don’t you forget it; when you start feeling otherwise, you better call or text me, cause I’ll squash that self-doubt in an instant.” 

_Even if it’s only for a little while._

While Bobby continued to smoke, he scooted back into the open space of the trunk and pulled his knees up to rest his arms against them as he stared up at the stars. He wished it could be so easy to lift Bobby’s spirits with simple words and reminders, but he meant it. If he was needed, he’d do whatever he could to help his friend out. 

“Thank you, I can’t say it enough, but thank you.” 

He smiled as he patted Bobby’s left leg when he sat beside him and laid his head on his shoulder. 

“Anytime, bud.” 

Huddled next to Dorian in the back of his car was a nice change of pace. In a lot of small ways, it reminded him of home. 

“It’d be nice to have you in High Command again, but I understand why you left.” He didn’t know why he said it, but he felt like he should. “You were a good undersheriff for us.” 

_For me._

When he felt Dorian’s head against his, Bobby closed his eyes, smiling. 

“I’m sure Rocko’s doing a fine job.” 

“I do only see him during meetings, our shifts hardly line up anymore; what with me trying to be around as much as possible for all the new cadets and to keep things in check or whatever.” 

“At least, you have Metzger as Ass. Chief.” 

Humming, Bobby shook his head, but his smile grew. 

“Fuck that guy, I hate him with a passion.” 

“Oh, I’m sure you do.” 

“Mhm, dude’s too perfect, should be illegal.” 

Under his head, Dorian’s shoulders shook, but his attempt to keep it controlled was acknowledged. 

“You should’ve heard the shit he said the other day, called us mom and dad of PD. He was lucky I was too fed up dealing with complaints and trying to figure out a bunch of he said, she said bullshit to fight him on it. Prick.” 

Shifting forwards then back, Dorian laughed that loud laugh of his. 

“Let me guess, he said you were the mom?” 

Bobby’s sigh was all the answer he needed to continue his giggling fit. 

“He’s a funny one!” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Bobby grumbled. 

Once they, or more, once Dorian settled down, they sat in comfortable silence. 

Whispering, Bobby opened his eye, enjoying the oranges and reds glowing over the desert. “Thanks for today, I really needed it.” 

“I’m glad I could help.” 

After two hours of sitting in silence, staring out into the desert, Dorian stood up, stretched his arms and legs, readjusted his pants, then held his hand out for Bobby. When he took it, Dorian squeezed his hand. “Let’s get you home, hm? I promised your daughter I could manage that much.” 

During their trip back to his apartment, Bobby laid his head against the window; while it was uncomfortable for his neck, the steady movements of the car was comforting enough where he let himself doze off, his previous nerves about Dorian being in his blind spot ebbing away. 

_Is this what normal days are like for others here? Reminds me of being home... with Matilda. It’s nice. I should tell people to fuck off more, so I can spend time with Zelda._

Drifting further off to sleep, Bobby felt his head slipping forwards and faintly heard Dorian saying something about almost being home. 

He felt a weight patting him on the leg before he fell asleep completely. 

“Rest up, bud, I’ve got ya.” 

_Dorian’s such a good friend._

_Friend_

_What a nice word... no extra bullshit attachment words to it just. Friend._

When he found himself jostled awake, he flailed for a second, his arms and legs trying to find his footing or hold onto something, respectively, before he registered that he was being carried, and as soon as he realized it, he was hoisted up. 

“Stay still will ya, I don’t want to drop you!” 

Words slurred from sleep, Bobby mumbled out a small complaint, borderline begging to be put down because it was embarrassing. 

“No can do, we’re already walking up the steps, you’re stuck here till we get to the door.” 

He made another noise of complaint before giving up and rubbing the sleep out of his good eye and laid his head on Dorian’s shoulder, pointedly not looking up at him. 

_Warm._

Almost too soon, they were in front of his apartment, but having already pulled his keys out on the way up, Bobby told Dorian to be careful and not to drop him. 

“Whatever you say, boss.” 

Without a hitch, the door unlocked, and Dorian pushed it open the rest of the way with his foot, stepping over the threshold where he finally leaned down enough for Bobby to get the hint to stand. He used Dorian for balance, and as he got comfortable on his legs again, he reached around Dorian and pushed the door closed. 

“Lock it for me?” 

“Sure.” 

Bobby was expecting the following silence to be awkward, as he was pretty much telling Dorian to stay the night–and he wasn’t saying no–but similar to before, Bobby felt quite comfortable with the silence around them, and wasn’t in a rush to do anything. 

_Chill out dumbass, you may have a crush, and that’s all fine and dandy, but he’s established he wants to support you as a friend. Which you need more of._

Running his hands over his face and into his hair, he toed his shoes off in time with pulling his eyepatch off and tossed it onto the kitchen counter as he walked by. 

_Don’t I know it._

“Again, thanks for today, and tonight... I don’t think anyone’s done this or even offered to just hang out.” 

“Not even Zelda?” 

Smiling at the teasing behind Dorian’s question, Bobby waved him off while also motioning for him to follow. 

“I’m sure she’s sick of hanging out with me, plus she hardly counts, she’s my daughter. I’m talking more...” he ran his hands through his hair again, messing it up, “you know...” he made a vague motion with his hand through the air. 

Dorian hummed, quiet for a second as they walked into Bobby’s room where he stayed by the door, while Bobby dug around through his sweatpants. Tossing a pair over to Dorian, he thanked him and turned towards the bathroom. 

“Nothing wrong with using sex as stress relief, everyone’s done it or thought about it at one point or another. Just don’t get consumed by it, too much of anything is never good for you, no matter how good it might feel.” 

He stared at where Dorian had been standing, taken aback for a moment, before shaking himself of the chill that went down his spine and got changed. Once he was sure the bathroom door would be closed, he went over and knocked on Zelda’s door, waiting a bit when he didn’t get a response right away, before giving it another three knocks then peaking in; seeing nothing but the empty room, he sighed. 

He could text her, but he didn’t want to bother her any more than he probably already has, considering she dropped whatever it was she’d been doing before to come down to a café to see who he was with. He’s sure she’d understand, since apparently, Dorian had said something to appease her, but it didn't stop him from feeling like he was somehow keeping things from her since she lived with him. 

“She asleep?” 

Slamming the door shut in shock, he spun on his heels, hand going up to rest over his heart. 

“What’d I say about doing that!” 

Dorian held his hands up, at least looking sheepish. 

“Sorry, you were just standing there for a while now, hoped everything was okay.” 

“No-yeah, she’s not here, I assume she’s out with friends still.” As Dorian opened his mouth, Bobby shook his head, “Anyways, let’s go to bed already before you actually give me a heart attack.” 

Walking around Dorian, he hurried back to his room, but again Dorian stayed by the door, his arms crossed over his chest, pulling the sheets back and sitting down, Bobby stared at him, and he back at him. 

“I can sleep on the couch.” 

“You can.” 

“But?” 

Bobby shrugged as he grabbed the sheets and messed with the material, his shoulders hunching up. He wasn’t sure what to say. 

“I can also leave if you want me to.” 

Too quickly, Bobby whipped his head up, shouting, which he didn’t mean to do. 

“No! Don’t, please-I.” 

His teeth ached from how hard he slammed his mouth shut, but regardless, he gritted his teeth as he shook his head. 

“You can leave... if you want.” 

_Don’t leave!_

“You’ve already done more than enough for me.” 

_Please don’t leave me._

“So...” Bobby dropped his head, waiting to hear Dorian shuffle away, and the sound of his front door to closing. 

But neither sound came. 

Instead, his bed dipped, and he was pulled into a hug. 

_Warm... he’s so warm. How can one person be this warm?_

“I think I’ll stay.” 

Face smothered in Dorian’s shoulder, and his hands fisted in the sheets between them, Bobby’s eyes filled with tears as he nodded and burrowed himself further into Dorian’s warmth. 

When he took a shaky breath, the hand at the nape of his neck–keeping him steady–moved to the center of his back, holding him tighter, which slowly but surely helped him relax enough to free the sheets from his white-knuckled grip. While it took some time, he did manage to return the hug; it wasn’t as strong as Dorian’s, but Bobby blamed it on genuine shock. 

_How long’s it been since I've gotten a hug? Maybe I should ask Zelda if we can make it more common, like us texting._

Tightening his hold on Dorian, Bobby shifted his head, pressing his lips against Dorian’s shoulder before moving around more, so it was his forehead there instead. 

_Hugs are nice._

“They are.” As he tensed, not meaning to say that out loud, Dorian simply shushed him, rubbing his back as he continued talking. “When I was younger, my mom drilled it into me that hugging your friends is good not only for yourself but for them. Another way to show people you care about them.” 

Giving him one last big hug, Dorian pulled away from him, got up, and went to the other side of the bed where he pulled the sheets back, climbed in, and Bobby followed his lead. Laying on his back, Bobby stared up into the darkness, thinking about everything Dorian had said to him. 

_“I said it before, and I’ll say it again, but I think you’re doing and going to continue to do great as Chief.”_

_He’s so sure I’m doing a good job._

_“You’re a good person, Bobby, don’t you forget it; when you start feeling otherwise, you better call or text me, cause I’ll squash that self-doubt in an instant.”_

Bobby turned his head and stared at the outline of Dorian’s face. 

“You still awake?” 

A soft chuckle was his only reply. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

While he waited, his heart started hurting again. 

“Shoot.” 

“Why do you believe in me so much?” 

Silence, then the bed moved as Dorian shifted around, probably to face him. 

"What’s this really about?” 

“What if I don’t see it?” The slight panic hidden in his own words unnerved him. 

“See what?” 

“See the good in me that you apparently do.” 

When he didn’t say anything right away, Bobby pressed on. 

“Honestly, at this point, I think we both know this isn't about PD or how I'm doing running things. I’ve distracted myself with enough bullshit to know that my biggest problem is _me_.” 

“Bobby, breathe.” 

Shaking, he did his best to take a few deep breaths, but the words wouldn’t stop. 

“How can I be good when I cheated on my husband? For what? Because I was lonely? Because I pushed him away first because while I still loved him, I was sick of how I felt like I hardly knew him? Anytime I asked about him, he’d spin things around, and before I knew it, I'd spilled my guts about one thing or another, and all of a sudden, that’s me droning on about myself when he never tried sharing anything about himself with me!” 

He wasn’t sure when he sat up, but now with the sheets pooling around his waist, he looked down at his hands, hardly able see them from how dark it was, and leaned into Dorian’s touch when he felt a warm hand on his arm. 

His thoughts were starting to get jumbled. 

“So, yes, I’m not proud of what I did, but it still happened, and because of that, I’m the farthest thing from good, in my opinion.” 

Still looking down at his hands, his breathing stopped when one of Dorian’s hands came into view and took his left hand. Not squeezing it or interlacing their fingers, but held, _cradled,_ his hand. 

“It takes two to tango, Bobby; you know who is just as much to blame as you are. You, however, actually show remorse. I think that shows more character than you think. Don’t beat yourself up over something while the other person takes pride in what they did.” 

“But I still flirt–” 

Now Dorian squeezed his hand. “Because it feels familiar and safe. Not all coping mechanisms are good ones.” 

His words were like being dunked in ice-cold water. He’d been thinking that for a while now, but actually hearing it from someone else’s mouth? It held more weight to it. 

“Now, please sleep. I’ll be here in the morning if you want to talk more, but there’s no point in stressing yourself out. Let yourself rest.” 

With his mouth hung open, Bobby stared at their joined hands. 

“...yeah... lets-lets sleep.” 

Keeping the doorknob twisted all the wall, so it wouldn’t make any sound as it closed, Zelda kicked her shoes off and relocked the locks, tugging on them one last time as a precaution. Pushing her shoes over with the other two pairs, she stopped and stared at them blankly. 

She felt her eye twitch, but other than it being one minor inconvenience, she didn’t think too much of it as she closed her eyes and shook her head. When she got to the hallway to pass her dad’s room to get to hers, she stopped; seeing it was open a crack, she heard her dad talking faster, more panicked than she’d heard in a while. She gave it a few seconds before taking quiet steps to stand beside the door, frowning as her grip tightened around the handle of her knife. 

“But I still flirt–” 

“Because it feels familiar and safe. Not all coping mechanisms are good ones.” 

Twirling the knife as she listened, Zelda felt her features soothing out, going back to their usual neutral-ness. Tuning out anything else they might be saying to each other, Zelda pulled her phone out to send Siz a text saying she was home. When he sent her back three thumbs up, she continued to stare at the dimmed screen, waiting a while longer before she was sure they were asleep inside the room. 

Pushing the door open enough for her to fit through it and the door frame, she tossed the knife from hand to hand, eyes narrowed as she strolled into the room. Ready to move if anything suspicious happened. 

_John Dorian._

Tsking, she set the knife down at the edge of the bed then went to dig around in her dad’s things for his phone. Once she had it, she pressed the home button and went straight to the contacts; going back for her knife, she held it lazily as she scrolled until finding the name she wanted, then she moved to place it on the nightstand. 

Reading the number to herself, she pulled her phone out and made a new contact and put the information in. 

_While I'm at it._

Slipping her phone back into her pocket, she tapped to the text messages on her dad’s phone, feeling her eye twitching again; a few were read, but unanswered, messages from Larry, AJ, and other unsaved numbers sat on the phone. As quickly as she got Dorian’s number, she went back to the contacts, to delete those numbers in particular, but stopped herself when the, _are you sure,_ message popped up.

With a frown still very present on her face, she looked up from the phone, blinking a few times till her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and stared at her dad’s sleeping form. 

_Dad._

Fingers twitching now, she looked away from him, went back to the messages, and instead deleted the string of messages from everyone who’d been flirting with him. 

_Good riddance._

Turning the phone off, so he could sleep in and not be brutally awoken to a call, Zelda put it back where she found it, pocketed her knife, then went to her room. She knew he’d get more texts later, but that’d be a problem for later.

**Author's Note:**

> ♡Comments & Kudos are appreciated!♡


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